I'm going to toss this one out to my mother. She has to be one of the most remarkable women on the face of the earth. Before I begin my column and introduce myself to all of the fresh-mea-er, I mean Frosh, I want to tell you guys a little story about my mum, and you will then see what a truly special woman she is. About halfway through the summer I was visiting her in Sudbury. We were getting ready to go somewhere and I was getting my shoes on while she waited for me outside at the end of the driveway. A middle-aged man, who was a little strange and creepy, walked up to her and asked her for a smoke. I heard this and walked to the front door to make sure that he didn't try to do anything stupid to my mum. She simply said "No problem" and instructed me to go back into the house and get him one of her entire packs. I did so and she gave him the whole pack rather than the one he asked for. His face lit up with happiness and he could not stop thanking her. He then proceeded to walk away. I asked my mom who that man was, and expected an answer that would include the words "creep" and/or "weirdo." Rather than tell me this, she told me "Just a fallen angel Ronnie, who is lost and confused. I feel sorry for him." She looked quite saddened, and then walked to the truck. This totally blew me away, and I came to fully realize how great of a person she is.
Anyways, I figured that since this is the first column that I'm writing this year and really only the Frosh are going to get to read it, I should introduce myself, this column, and what readers can expect from me over the course of this year. This is my column, entitled obviously Life on the Rocks (and NO, the title has NOTHING to do with the fact that I come from Sudbury... the secret of the title of my column will be revealed in the last LOTR that I ever write). I have been writing this column since I arrived at Nipissing three years ago. It started off as a humour piece, and remained that way for about a year and a half. It then morphed into a political piece where I would get to spew forth my leftist pro-Marxist views on the world. Now I write pretty much whatever comes to mind, sometimes it is funny, sometimes political, and some times both. This column is the longest running piece in The Hibou, as it has appeared in every issue that has been out for the last three years. No other piece comes even close to this record.
The format of my column remains the same each time. I open up with a quote that I like (they usually come from literature or songs that I like). I then go to the dedication where I "toss one out" to somebody. Then the body of the column where I tend to dazzle and amaze students, friends and co-workers every two weeks. I then close out with the exact same phrase every time, "This is how life is seen from a simple man who is living life on the rocks." Interestingly enough, to verify this I have looked back at a lot of my old columns and noticed that sometimes I write "This is how life is seen from a simple man living life on the rocks", and I omit the words "who is." Strange. I wonder if there is some deep psychological problem I have that causes me to subconsciously change phrases from time to time. Nah, I doubt it. Anyways, I hope that you enjoy my column this year, and if you have a quote you want me to use, an idea for a column, or if you want to just write to me and tell me you think I'm a moron (and this HAS been done!), email me at ronniecorporon@yahoo.ca.
This is how life is seen from a simple man who is living life on the rocks.